What to Do When You Think You’re Being Stalked

Stalking is a frightening and emotionally distressing experience. Whether it’s an ex-partner who won’t let go, a stranger who keeps showing up where you are, or someone bombarding you with messages and phone calls, stalking behavior can leave you feeling anxious, unsafe, and overwhelmed. The good news is that there are legal steps you can take to protect yourself.

In this article, we’ll explore how to recognize stalking, what actions you can take immediately, how the legal system defines and addresses stalking, and when to involve a family law or criminal attorney to safeguard your rights.

What Is Stalking?

Stalking involves a pattern of unwanted and repeated attention, contact, or behavior that causes a person to feel threatened or harassed. While laws may vary by state, stalking typically includes:

• Repeated phone calls, texts, or emails
• Showing up uninvited at your home, work, or other frequent locations
• Following you in public or online
• Sending gifts or letters after being told to stop
• Damaging property or making threats
• Monitoring your movements or tracking you through GPS or social media

A single incident may not qualify as stalking, but a pattern of behaviors that makes you fear for your safety often does.

Step 1: Trust Your Instincts and Prioritize Safety

If you feel like someone is watching, following, or obsessing over you, trust your instincts. You know your situation better than anyone. Do not wait until something escalates to take action.

Consider immediate safety steps such as:

• Letting trusted friends or family know what’s happening
• Changing your daily routines
• Varying your routes to and from work or school
• Avoiding isolated areas
• Making your social media accounts private

Your personal safety is the top priority. Do not confront the stalker directly.

Step 2: Start Documenting Everything

The more detailed your records, the stronger your case if you decide to seek legal protection. Begin keeping a stalking log that includes:

• Dates and times of each incident
• Description of what happened
• Witnesses, if any
• Screenshots of texts, emails, social media messages
• Photos or videos (e.g., of the stalker at your home)

Save voicemails and emails. Even if something feels minor or vague, document it. Stalking often starts subtly and escalates over time.

Step 3: Increase Physical and Digital Security

Modern stalkers may use technology to monitor their targets. Be proactive about securing both your home and your devices:

• Install cameras or motion-sensor lights at home
• Update privacy settings on social media and avoid location sharing
• Change passwords and enable two-factor authentication
• Check for tracking apps or devices on your phone or vehicle
• Consider a security system or doorbell camera

Avoid posting about your whereabouts online in real time.

Step 4: Report the Behavior to Law Enforcement

If you believe you’re being stalked, contact your local police department. Filing a report creates a legal record of the stalking behavior and allows law enforcement to act if the situation escalates.

When reporting:

• Bring your stalking log and any evidence
• Be specific and consistent in your description of events
• Mention any history with the stalker, such as a breakup or past incidents

Police may begin an investigation, issue a warning, or help you seek a restraining or protective order.

Step 5: Seek a Protective Order (Restraining Order)

A protective order is a legal document that prohibits the stalker from contacting or coming near you. To obtain one, you’ll usually need to:

• File a petition in court detailing the stalking behavior
• Provide supporting documentation (police reports, messages, logs)
• Attend a hearing where the judge reviews your case

If granted, a protective order can:

• Forbid the stalker from contacting or approaching you
• Restrict access to your home, workplace, or school
• Allow law enforcement to arrest the stalker for any violation

Protective orders are powerful legal tools that offer both physical protection and documentation for future legal action.

Step 6: Speak With an Attorney

If you’re being stalked by an ex-partner, former spouse, or someone connected to a child custody or divorce case, a family law attorney can help you navigate your rights and seek additional protections.

In other cases, a criminal attorney may be appropriate, especially if the stalking includes threats or violence. An attorney can:

• Help file for protective orders or court motions
• Communicate with law enforcement on your behalf
• Assist with child custody modifications if stalking endangers your child
• Ensure your legal and safety concerns are heard in court

Don’t wait until the situation worsens. Early legal intervention can prevent escalation.

Step 7: Take Care of Your Mental Health

Being stalked can be traumatic. You may feel isolated, anxious, or constantly on edge. It’s important to care for your mental and emotional health:

• Reach out to a licensed therapist or counselor
• Join support groups for stalking survivors
• Practice self-care and stress-reducing activities

You are not overreacting. Your fears and stress are valid.

Bonus Tips for Protecting Yourself

• Alert your employer, school, or building security if appropriate
• Carry a charged phone and consider a personal safety alarm
• Have a trusted friend accompany you during routines or errands
• Inform neighbors and provide a description or photo of the stalker

The more people who are aware of the situation, the better protected you are.

Final Thoughts

Stalking is a serious issue that can impact your safety, mental health, and sense of freedom. The law is on your side—but you must act. Start by documenting everything, increasing your safety measures, and reaching out to law enforcement and legal professionals.

If you believe you’re being stalked, don’t wait for it to get worse. Contact a family law attorney or your local domestic violence resource center. With legal guidance and support, you can take control of the situation and protect yourself from further harm.